Dean turned 2 in March. It seems so long ago that I was bursting at the seems with my little guy. The day I found out I was pregnant I put away my scale. Obviously I was going to gain weight but I didn't want that to become something I focused on. There were so many wonderful and exciting things to put my energy into, I didn't want weight to become a source of negative energy. I even told my midwife that I didn't want to know my weight, or how many pounds I gained, unless she was concerned about it. All she ever told me was that I "looked good" so I'll take that as it was a healthy weight.
To this day I have no idea how much weight I gained or what my final weigh in was. I can't even tell you what size pants I wore because I only wore maternity pants with the belly bands built in. It wasn't until right around this last Thanksgiving, that I started wearing my "normal" pants again. (The maternity leggings I won't give up because they are so comfy.) They fit my new body kind of weird but they get the job done.
While I have an idea about how much I weigh now, I can honestly say I don't care to know. It's just a number and that doesn't mean much to me. Right now I am just going by how I feel, and I'm starting to feel good. There was a point last week where I actually felt sexy. Friends, I don't know the last time I felt genuinely sexy. Aaron tells me I'm "sexy" and "smokin' hot" but these aren't words that I would have used (in the last 2+ years) to describe myself. All this time I've settled with "cute" or "ok-sure-whatever". It felt GOOD to feel sexy.
There are days, though, when my thoughts are very far from positive. Those days I try not to focus on it. Instead I'll wear as much black as possible, pick a different feature (eye, hair) & focus on that, or put heels on and say "fake it til you make it, Sarah!". This works most of the time.
My point is, my goal weight isn't a weight at all, but me feeling content with myself. It's about looking in the mirror and smiling at what I see. It doesn't matter to me if that means I'm bigger, smaller, or about the same as before. My body shape has changed (my waist and boobs say hi). Instead of changing the size of my waist line, I am working toward changing my outlook of myself.
This mama has stretch marks, rolls, cellulite, dull skin, and is overall slightly more round, but these things aren't terrible. They are all visible signs of what I have done in my life- not just my pregnancy (but mostly my pregnancy). Aaron finds my body sexy- so should I.
What sort of things do you do to help keep a positive body image post-baby? I would love to hear from you other mama's out there!